Life Happens
The community that I observed was drug addicts and the platform I used was YouTube and the channel was called Soft White Underbelly. What is unique about this community is that they are forgotten about or felt less than human. I chose this community because when going about my day to day life I see them and wonder what made them turn to drugs. This community has been marginalized from American mainstream society because they are mostly people who have come from poverty or had some type of trauma in their lives.
I observed my community for three days and about one hour and half. This is a community of individuals who are addicted to drugs and want people to hear their story of how life happened to isolate them from others. What keeps them together is that they have the same problem and feel lonely. The person who is the leader of this community is a photographer by the name of ML who wants those outside of their community to hear their stories of how they became addicits. This community does not have an “inside” language they can speak freely and use any type of language they want. They address each other by their names and there are no rules for interacting but they must be respectful to each other and the person conducting the interview. While observing the individuals they spoke with respect to the gentleman talking to them because he was listening to their stories. During my observation I found that the common denominator between those who I observed and possibly all drug addicts was some kind of trauma and/or experimental to numb the pain or the demons they are fighting from the trauma they endured. I read an article that had agreed with my observation about why some addicts began to use drugs. It says some reasons why they use drugs, family violence or sexual abuse, traumatic life event/childhood experiences.and mental issues. Another observation I noticed was that when talking about themselves or family they hold their heads down in shame or guilt and they all looked aged. Also they couldn’t keep still or touch themselves as if something was on their skin. As I sat and listened to them speak in the interview they all sounded hurt, remorseful and hopeful that they will eventually get clean and return to society a better person for their children, They also As I read some of the comments from all my subjects here are a few that struck me “Addiction is an adaptive response to trauma” (Unknown). Poetic Mama’s perspective on life is relatable to me despite the vast differences in our circumstances; she is gifted with introspective wisdom and words”(M274). “Booster Mama is like a fragile and broken bird” (LR). This shows that there are people who have empathy for these addicts and wish they could help in some ways. “Damn I don’t normally feel bad for addicts but seeing Muscle Man is rough” (BWF). This quote leads me to believe this person has a different perspective for addicts because they watched and listened to what happens in his life to understand why he turned to drugs.
What surprised me about this community is that some or maybe all drug addicts are intelligent or creative. Poetic Mama uses poetry to help cope. Here are some of her poem to prove how creative addicts can be. The name of the poem is No More, here is a few lines from the poem:
No more lies
No more pain
No more being put out of someone else’s spot to be stuck out in the rain
No more drama No more strife
No more selling for less than I deserve because I deserve more in my life
No more stress no more tears
No more living to regret what I consider 31 wasted years
No more being strong from being beat by men who knew they were wrong
No more misery no more regret no more reliving the things I will never forget
No more sacrificing being willing to literally give someone else my shirt
No more scrubbing my body of three decades of skid rod dirt
No more tears no more crying feeling I’m better off dying
No more dealing with other people and their demons trying to convince them that it’s ok
No more struggling to keep from getting in my own way
No more caring for people for them I’m here to serve
F@#k that after 31 years ‘m living the life I deserve
From this little bit as I was listening to her recite it I could feel pain, hope, remorse and faith. It also says if given the chance and the opportunity she will like to rejoin society and make a difference to help others
What intrigued me about this community is that they all faced some kind of trauma, I believe that they felt all adults are not trustworthy and how they used drugs to fight the demons that haunt them. According to an article I read it mentions that child sexual abuse can produce feelings of helplessness, chaos and impermanence in children , and illicit drug use may serve as way to escape or dissociate from these feelings (Dube et al, 2003).
What distributed me about this community is that there was no one who wanted to help these addicts to overcome their demons and return to society. If someone takes the time to listen to their story they would understand why they turned to drugs. Mainstream American would rather throw them away and forget about them than try to help them.
REFERENCE PAGE
Honer, G (November/December 2010) . Child Sexual Abuse: Consequences and Implications, Journal Of Pediatric Health Care Volume 24 Issue 6 pps 358-364
2022, Insights, Alcohol And Drug Foundation, Understanding Young People’s Alcohol and Drug Use
Gordon, L (2018) ‘My daughter is a drug addict’ grandparents caring for the children of addicted parents, Kotuitui: New Zealand Journal of Social Sciences Online, 13:1, 39-54
Various, Soft White Underbelly, YouTube
